WELCOME TO LIFE BY J
Welcome to my colorful world and the worlds of others.
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About Me
My name is Jana Wilson and I am a communications major with a minor in writing. I am from Morristown, New Jersey and I have lived in the same state all my life although most of my family hails from New York. In addition to my interest in writing, one thing that you may not know about me is that I have a passion for fashion and am involved in many organizations that have to do with that. In addition to expression through clothing, I also enjoy expressing feelings and telling stories in abstract and unique ways.
I would also like to introduce you to my most loyal friend, my dog Simba. He wants to say hi too :)
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Why I Write
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I believe that even the smallest, most shy person can have a voice. You do not have to be able to speak or see to be able to express yourself. This is because writing is abstract thoughts in a person’s mind, a combination of pictures and happenings and feelings. These are converted into symbols so that this feeling or memory is translated into something that someone on the outside can understand. I think that sometimes a person that is shy or slow to get close to people like me, struggles not only to communicate things to others, but to themselves. It’s as if there is something holding us back. Maybe it’s the fear of being judged or not fitting in. Maybe we are hesitant because of the potential embarrassment that a thought can cause, or maybe it’s because we embarrass ourselves. We write something down and immediately delete it or throw it out because we think about who could possibly ever understand. To be stuck inside oneself can sometimes be overbearing, and so it helps to write it down and then hide it or destroy it, but if it is released, inner peace can be restored.
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When I was younger I wrote in a diary about my day, or I would draw a picture that expressed what happened or how I was feeling. I did not write something down every day. Although that may have been useful, I found myself writing the most when I did not know how to express myself or when I didn’t think that a person would understand. Just putting something down on paper, a jumble of words, a scribble, would give me satisfaction and relief because at least I could release my thoughts into the present space and it would be real. Because of this, I sometimes wonder if writing is meant to help others understand, or if it is meant to help me understand myself. Maybe the very process of writing is me processing not just my thoughts, but who I am. I use writing to explore every realm of life, the ups and the downs. It is expression of myself in the past and the present.
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As human beings, especially people of my generation, we write every day. Maybe not in a formal sense for a class assignment, but in something simple like a text message. Sometimes we find it easier to send someone a text than to call them or to speak to them in person. I think this is because when you speak to someone in real time, you can’t just hit pause and think about what you are going to say next, and maybe you will say the wrong thing. You can hide behind a screen and say whatever you want, being able to avoid that person’s reaction, or the face that will make you feel guilty afterwards. Maybe the issue is simply that you are afraid to confront that person. Maybe the issue is that you are afraid to confront yourself. Maybe just the thought of going up to someone and speaking to them makes you tremble.
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I think that for myself right now and forever, writing will be an outlet to help develop my thoughts and help me discover what I am meant to be, what I enjoy, and maybe even what I do not enjoy so much. I think the point of it all is that writing pushes me to acknowledge what I am feeling even if I don’t want to admit it. Ultimately, writing is what you make it.